Tales of the Parodyverse

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Al B. Harper
Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 11:15:39 pm EST

Subject
A Very Parody Christmas - Part Six
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“So what’s this?” enquired Amy Aston.

“It’s called Chapter Six I believe” answered Al B. Harper.

Amy rolled her eyes at the archscientist. “You’re really weird sometimes, you know that?” She indicated to the pastry that was on the end of her fork. “I meant, what’s this thing.”

“Oh, that. Pig in a blanket, I believe” Al B. replied.

Mr Epitome stomped over.

“Excuse me, Ms Aston, Harper, have either of you seen Glory?” he enquired.

“Can’t say I have,” Amy answered, “but I have seen the mistletoe, and guess what, you’re under it!” She threw her arms around the Paragon of Power and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before he knew what was happening.

“Bruhdlfle-hiffel” Mr Epitome chortled.

“Tee-Hee” Amy giggled.

“Err…I think someone may have spiked her punch” Al B. advised the slightly taken-aback Mr Epitome.


*****



“RUN!!!!” Screamed Zack Zelnitz aka Hacker Nine.

He didn’t have to say it twice. Once the mere shadow of the Nazgul appeared over the tree line, its fear inducing qualities made it hard for the Juniors to do anything but run. Even Harlagaz joined in their fleeing to the rocks further up the end of the beach.

“Quick, into this cavern” breathed Kerry Shepherdson, pointing to a small crevasse in the rocks.

Unfortunately, as she said it, Ham Boy tripped over something in the sand.

“Fred!” screamed Samantha Bonnington aka Fashion Accessory. “Get up you great lump of….” She stopped short. The Nazgul was there.


*****



“So anyway, then she said, Roni myboy, you are da bomb!” Roni Y Avis seemed to be the only one laughing out loud at the punch line of his own joke.

“I still don’t see why he is here” queried Liu-Xi to Hallie.

“Oh, me and Vishnionary go waaaaaay back.” Roni advised, overhearing the young Chinese girl. “There’s no way I’d miss a party at his place. Where is the great lug anyways?

At that moment, Mr Epitome came over. “Hallie, have you seen Glory?” he asked.

Hallie paused for a moment. “My sensors indicate she’s in a room off the main corridor on the third level, with the Juniors.”

“Thanks” said Epitome.

“Is that…lipstick on your collar Dominic?” Hallie queried, but the man of might had already turned and stomped away.


*****



The death-horse of the Nazgul reared up over the prostate form of Fred Harris aka Ham Boy.

“Rrrrrrragh!” Harlagaz suddenly broke free of the fear that gripped him and ran out into the sand inbetween the Nazugul and its prey.

“None may come between a Nazgul and its prey and live” hissed the Nazgul through its ghost-like teeth.

“Have at thee miscreant!” challenged Harlagaz.

The Nazgul just laughed. His horse was faster than expected, and he quickly came down on Harlagaz, giving the Nazgul a clear shot with the flat of his blade, a swipe that sent Harlagaz flying into the rocks.

“Oh crap” swore Kerry from her hiding place.

“Now, you will die!” The Nazgul spat towards the body of Ham Boy, and raised his sword to strike!


*****



Hatman looked around the room at some of the other guests. “The Wooster sisters, Lara Night, Yuki Shiro, Keiko, yep Jay, you’re gonna have to be careful where you stand and what you stand under in this crowd” he thought to himself. He saw Miss Framlicker standing over by the wall. “Well, there’s the safe option till Zdnenka gets back” he thought, and walked over to her.


*****


Kerry covered her eyes from the sight of Ham Boy getting skewered. She couldn’t bear to watch it and cowered with Hacker 9 and Fashion Accessory in the rocks, she knew her fear was unnatural, a result of the Nazgul itself, but she couldn’t help it.

“Tolkienextus!” said a voice, and there was a hissing sound like water being thrown onto fire. Kerry opened her eyes, and the Nazgul had vanished, in its place a cloud of steam slowly rising. Her, FA and Hacker 9 ran over to Ham Boy. Checking he was ok, she noticed the three youths in cloaks standing near by, one of them, a young boy with glasses, was holding a smoking wand. “Was it you who got rid of the Nazgul?” she asked.

“Yes,” answered the youth. “I’m Barry Hotter, a wizard. This is Hermoney Stranger and Rob Vesley” he motioned to his two companions.

“Thanks for saving us” said FA. “I guess if you’re wizards and all we must be in the Mythlands right?

“Kind of” answered the girl known as Hermoney. “We’re actually on Wictcan Island. A remote island in the South Pacific that serves as sort of a gateway between the Mythlands and Earth. Our headmaster, that’s Professor Mumbledoor, noticed something was wrong here and too much of the Mythlands magic was coming through, kind of like a disturbance in the force, so he sent us her to see if we can close it.

“Lucky for us you came when you did” said Hacker 9, helping Harlagaz join the others.

Before anyone could say any more there was a definite screeching sound, followed by a belching noise, and the sound of a dog barking.

“Glory!” exclaimed Kerry. “We’ve got to go save her.”

“One of your companions is still in danger?” said Rob Vesley.

“We’ll help you” said Barry Hotter.

“Thanks” said the LL Junior together, and they all ran off together towards the sound of Glory’s barking.

To be continued….

Al B. Harper


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